The Wound You Keep Feeding Is the One That Won't Heal
And maybe it's time to stop carrying ghosts that were never yours to begin with.
There's a heaviness you've been carrying.
You feel it in the mornings when you wake up tired despite sleeping. In the tightness of your chest when someone's name appears on your phone. In the way certain memories loop endlessly, like a song you can't turn off.
You've tried to outrun it. Outsmart it. Out-busy it.
But here's what I've learned after years of carrying my own invisible weight:
Healing doesn't begin when the pain stops. It begins when you finally stop pretending it isn't there.
And if you're reading this right now—exhausted, tender, barely holding it together—I want you to know something:
You're not broken. You're just finally ready to put down what you were never meant to carry.
Why We're All Walking Around Half-Healed
The last few years didn't just happen to us. They happened through us.
Collective grief. Ancestral trauma surfacing. Relationships ending. Versions of ourselves dying before we were ready to let them go.
We became experts at survival—but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to soften.
We learned to function through the pain. But functioning isn't healing.
Brené Brown says, "We can't selectively numb emotion. When we numb the painful emotions, we also numb joy, gratitude, and happiness."
And that's exactly where most of us are stuck—numb, exhausted, going through the motions while our souls whisper, "Please. Not like this anymore."
The Forgiveness No One Tells You About
Let's start with the hardest one.
Not forgiving them—the person who hurt you, betrayed you, abandoned you.
The forgiveness that changes everything is the one you give yourself.
For staying too long.
For not knowing better.
For breaking your own heart trying to save someone else's.
For all the ways you abandoned yourself while waiting for someone to choose you.
A Forgiveness Ritual That Actually Works
You don't need candles or crystals (though they're beautiful if you want them).
You just need honesty.
Here's what to do:
Write a letter you'll never send. Start with: "I forgive myself for..." Let it pour. The ugly parts. The shame. The regret. All of it.
Read it out loud. Your nervous system needs to hear your own compassion. Tears are not weakness—they're trapped energy finally finding the exit.
Burn it or bury it. Not for symbolism's sake—but because your body needs a physical release to believe the emotional one.
One woman who did this told me: "I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath for three years until I finally exhaled."
That's what true forgiveness feels like.
Not forgotten. Not erased.
Just no longer feeding on your life force.
Letting Go of What No Longer Serves You (Even When It's Comfortable)
Here's the truth most spiritual Instagram posts won't tell you:
Letting go doesn't feel peaceful at first. It feels like loss.
Even when you're releasing toxicity. Even when you know it's necessary.
Because humans are wired for familiarity. And sometimes, pain feels safer than the unknown.
Reflection Journaling to Get Clear
Grab your journal. No filter. No spiritual bypass.
Ask yourself:
- What am I holding onto out of guilt, not love?
- What relationship, habit, or belief system is draining me?
- If I wasn't afraid of disappointing anyone, what would I release today?
- What am I grieving that I haven't admitted yet?
Write without stopping for 10 minutes.
You'll know what needs to go. Your body already knows.
The question is: are you brave enough to listen?
